CREATING YOUR OWN CONFIDENCE

Why is it that most of us, walking into a room full of people we don’t know, feel the opposite of confident? Our heart races, our brains turn to mush, our eyes dart around looking for something or someone to throw us an anchor as we mentally drown in a sea of nerves and uncertainty. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I make a mistake? What if people don’t like me? These are the sort of things running through our minds.

A far stretch from the confident image you want to be presenting.

Confidence is attractive. We like to be around people who generate it. Confident people tend to be more positive, so people feel more positive simply by being around them. It rubs off.

You can see when someone is confident. The way they carry themselves, standing tall, shoulders back, chest out and head high.

They seem to converse with ease, laugh easily and happily accept praise whilst giving out compliments readily also. It looks so simple! So how can you get some of that?

Let’s look at three things you can put into practice quickly and easily to help you look and feel more confident, when and where you need to.

1. Physiology

Your physiology is the first thing to work on. If your body feels sure your mind will follow suit.

Stand up straight! Shoulders back and head up. Just putting your body into a bold stance will have an effect on your mental state. Make a concentrated effort to maintain this. It really works!

There is a fantastic YouTube Ted Talk on this by Amy Cuddy. Click on this link to check it out later if you like.

https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html

2. Smile!

There are several scientific studies proving the connection between smiling and the release of endorphins (happy juice) to the brain. Fake smiles have the same result! So flash your pearly whites, force a grin and notice your mind loosen its grip on those nerves. People respond positively to a smile as well, so you will also appear more friendly and approachable to those around you.

3. Shift your focus

Instead of focusing on yourself and how you are feeling, or focusing on the volume of people around you, choose one person to focus on. Just one. Make eye contact, and approach them (with your physiology and smile in place). Introduce yourself, allow them to respond, then ask them an open – ended question (one that can’t be answered with a yes or no). You could even have a few questions pre-prepared to help you along. Listen to their response, consider it, and ask a follow up question. When you have your attention fixed on someone else, you are not thinking about you. If you aren’t thinking about you, you won’t be noticing your nerves. If you aren’t noticing your nerves they will simply disappear!

Before you know it you will be chatting away, feeling relaxed and confident and making new connections and friends. The people around you will be wondering how you manage to be so confident, while they are feeling like nervous wrecks!!

Next time you have something coming up that has you quivering, give these methods a try. You can even practice your posture and smile in the mirror before you leave home.

Check out that confident looking person in the mirror! Get yourself some of that!

“You can’t make yourself feel positive, but you can choose how to act, and if you choose right, it builds your confidence”

Julien Smith

Be Ultimate because Ordinary is Over-rated

What Our Clients Say

I have been with the same company for nearly 10 years. Although in a leadership role and successful, I felt burned out, stressed and unhappy at work. This was impacting my work /life balance as well as my interaction with others. I needed to re-evaluate my career priorities and level up my communication skills. Cheryl took the time to listen and understand my situation. We worked together to better understand my strengths and values and how important it is for them to be congruent with my career development. With Cheryl’s guidance I focused on the steps I needed to make to remain myself, whilst becoming a better leader at work. Cheryl’s style, attitude and easy to follow steps are pragmatic and realistic. She provided me with tools I could use every day to remain focused on changes I needed to make to achieve what I wanted.This is an ongoing journey but I am now more confident, have a deeper understanding of both myself and others, have the tools to perform better at work and am maintaining a more fulfilling work-life balance.

Catherine.R – National Manager

I met Cheryl as I started a personal journey in seeking greater clarity for my career. It has turned into much more and I am most grateful to her for helping me understand myself much better as well as how to interact with those around me. Both professional and private. Cheryl has been a source of strength and insight. Her warm and friendly nature makes it easy to relate to her. She challenges the status quo and help me improve many aspects of my life. A number of my colleagues have spent time with Cheryl and all feedback has been positive. I would highly recommend her.

Ross Cartwright, Managing Director – Head of Retail Aus/NZ, MFS INVESTMENTS

We were lucky enough to have Cheryl come to our Annual Team Conference where she presented a Creative Thinking Workshop for our Team. I would high recommend Cheryl and the workshop for anyone who is looking to open their minds and expand the vision of the business. The workshop was highly interactive with the concepts and ideas being able to be implemented relatively quickly and simply into our business.

Harry, Director of Projects, PLAN ASSIST PTY LTD

I have seen and worked with Cheryl on a number of events and projects she is a part of. So when it came to organising an EA/PA Networking event, I knew she was the right person to be our guest speaker. Cheryl is an engaging, humorous and energetic presenter, who can relate easily to a room of 10 to 100+ people. She brings a world of knowledge and experience to her presentations and her real-life business examples reinforce the messages she presents. Cheryl is definitely someone I would recommend to present at any corporate workshop.

A Edmonds, Events Manager, LUNAR PARK SYDNEY

I attended Be Ultimate’s workshop on Stress Management. It was amazing! It was exactly what I needed to understand how to manage my busy days. Cheryl taught us practical, easy to implement strategies that worked for me from day 1 and I haven't looked back since. I highly recommend Cheryl as a coach, and recommend her 2 hour workshops for anyone.

C Walt, CEO, NSD DESIGN & PRINT

I have attended two LinkedIn workshops run by Be Ultimate and I have found them to be extremely informative, professional and succinct, whilst also being very personable and fun. I have already implemented new content and knowledge learned at the workshops ... starting at the actual workshops itself!

Thanks for your fun and informative workshop sessions.

David, Accountant, McSWEENEY CA CONSULTING ACCOUNTANTS

Cheryl provides an incredible bouncing board to lead you through your journey of reinvention or simply to gain reinforcement that the path you’re on is the right one. Cheryl is an awesome person who truly cares for other people, wants to see them achieve their goals, isn’t backward in coming forwards when you need the prod in the right direction and will encourage you to see the great results you are accomplishing when they may not be as obvious to you.

I highly recommend Cheryl to anyone who is looking for business advice, a change in career or simply wants to gain some solutions to taking a positive approach to life.

A.Wilson, Business Owner, CATEGORACLE

Cheryl has facilitated a number of conferences for Liquid Learning in both Australia and New Zealand and has always been a pleasure to work with! Cheryl is helpful, punctual, reliable and always professional. She is very skilled in keeping the conference running to time and lifting the energy of the room as she facilitates Q&A sessions. Cheryl also frequently runs workshops with us and does regular speaking spots which she always receives great feedback for.

Jean Young, Project Executive, LIQUID LEARNING

With the majority of delegates rating Cheryl’s keynote presentation at the IOPO Conference 5 out of 5, she exceeded our expectations! Cheryl is truly passionate about helping businesses to succeed and thrive.

Linda, IOPO Advisory Board Member, IOPO

Cheryl has been a delight to work with over the past 7 years. She has assisted our business, Independent Garden Centres, with professional development workshops, she has been of great support to me as a coach. Cheryl has emceed the last two annual IGC Retail Conferences with an engaging and fun style, and she has been one of our conference keynote speakers who held the undivided attention of the delegates with ease. I thoroughly recommend Cheryl Alderman in any of these capacities.  Cheryl is a consummate professional who quickly builds rapport, she clearly enjoys sharing her knowledge with others, and there is always an element of fun which oft missing in many professionals.

Evan Mueller, CEO, IGC

In this workshop we were introduced to a range of simple strategies that the group could adopt to manage the inevitable stress and tension experienced in corporate and every life. The cynical group loved the practical and interactive approach of this workshop and were highly engaged throughout the 2 hours. The presenters brought in lots of great exercises. I am happy to recommend this Managing Stress workshop and both presenters to other corporate groups.

L Jones, People & Culture Business Partner, FOXTEL

Working with Cheryl has had benefits that have reached far beyond me as an individual. She has helped me to become a better leader and elevate the effectiveness and potential of my entire team. Cheryl's coaching has raised my self awareness, shifted my focus to control what I can control, and given me tools to realise opportunities that I wouldn't have thought possible before our first session.

Michael, Manager of Digital Marketing, DIMENSIONAL