Have you ever considered whether the people in your life are the RIGHT people?

Relationships and connection are crucial in both our personal and business lives. However, if those relationships are with the wrong people it can cause un-resourceful behaviours, emotions and results for both parties.

It is essential that we surround ourselves with positive and supportive people, if we want to achieve happiness and success.

We need to be close to people who will champion us, applaud our successes, give us a shoulder to lean on when times are tough and most of all believe in us when we start to doubt ourselves. We need people who share or admire our passions, but will pull us back down to earth if we get too carried away, or call us on our bullshit if we get too big for our boots.

Relationships that are one-sided or exist on a basis of obligation or guilt are not beneficial to either party.

I wonder if you have people in your life that you find yourself avoiding? Perhaps you let the phone go to voicemail when you see it’s them or avoid them at the shopping mall? These are the people who drain your energy. Perhaps you find they are repeating the same conversation every time you speak, all about them, never asking how things are with you? Perhaps you only hear from them when they need something, or when times are tough?

Ask yourself if there’s a possibility you have actually been enabling them, and therefore preventing them from taking responsibility for their own behaviours and decisions? Sometimes our best intentions are actually hindering those around us. Taking the crutches away may cause them to fall over at first, but it could also allow them to discover their own inner strength and how to get back up again or make some changes. Tough love isn’t always tough. We learn some of our most valuable lessons from events that at the time seemed like the worst.

Take some time out to assess. Consider, who are the people you spend the most time with? Ask yourself what are the benefits of each relationship. If you can’t list at least four positives, perhaps it’s time to shake the tree. Sometimes a few pieces of fruit need to drop off the tree to make room for new fruit to grow.

It may be that you need to have an honest and direct conversation with someone or it may be that it’s time let them fall by the wayside. Life is a long journey and you need people around you who will lift you up, not drag you down.

Lastly, consider what the people you know would say about you?

What are you contributing to your relationships?

Do you listen to what others are saying or are you busy getting ready for your turn to speak? Are you taking the time to offer support and cheering them on or jumping in with your own tales to tell?

Invest in your relationships and you will attract people who do the same.

A healthy resourceful relationship benefits everyone involved.

I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led to those who help us most to grow
If we let them and we help them in return

Stephen Schwartz

Life is a journey and we all change along the way. Some people will stay on the same path, and others won’t. It makes sense that different people will come in and out of our lives as we head in new directions. Appreciate the lessons they bring and wave goodbye if the time has come for you to part.

If you are stuck in un-resourceful relationships in your life or your business and need some help working out how to make a change, contact us today to find out more about our Coaching and Mentoring Packages.

Be Ultimate because Ordinary is Over-rated

What Our Clients Say

I have been with the same company for nearly 10 years. Although in a leadership role and successful, I felt burned out, stressed and unhappy at work. This was impacting my work /life balance as well as my interaction with others. I needed to re-evaluate my career priorities and level up my communication skills. Cheryl took the time to listen and understand my situation. We worked together to better understand my strengths and values and how important it is for them to be congruent with my career development. With Cheryl’s guidance I focused on the steps I needed to make to remain myself, whilst becoming a better leader at work. Cheryl’s style, attitude and easy to follow steps are pragmatic and realistic. She provided me with tools I could use every day to remain focused on changes I needed to make to achieve what I wanted.This is an ongoing journey but I am now more confident, have a deeper understanding of both myself and others, have the tools to perform better at work and am maintaining a more fulfilling work-life balance.

Catherine.R – National Manager

I met Cheryl as I started a personal journey in seeking greater clarity for my career. It has turned into much more and I am most grateful to her for helping me understand myself much better as well as how to interact with those around me. Both professional and private. Cheryl has been a source of strength and insight. Her warm and friendly nature makes it easy to relate to her. She challenges the status quo and help me improve many aspects of my life. A number of my colleagues have spent time with Cheryl and all feedback has been positive. I would highly recommend her.

Ross Cartwright, Managing Director – Head of Retail Aus/NZ, MFS INVESTMENTS

We were lucky enough to have Cheryl come to our Annual Team Conference where she presented a Creative Thinking Workshop for our Team. I would high recommend Cheryl and the workshop for anyone who is looking to open their minds and expand the vision of the business. The workshop was highly interactive with the concepts and ideas being able to be implemented relatively quickly and simply into our business.

Harry, Director of Projects, PLAN ASSIST PTY LTD

I have seen and worked with Cheryl on a number of events and projects she is a part of. So when it came to organising an EA/PA Networking event, I knew she was the right person to be our guest speaker. Cheryl is an engaging, humorous and energetic presenter, who can relate easily to a room of 10 to 100+ people. She brings a world of knowledge and experience to her presentations and her real-life business examples reinforce the messages she presents. Cheryl is definitely someone I would recommend to present at any corporate workshop.

A Edmonds, Events Manager, LUNAR PARK SYDNEY

I attended Be Ultimate’s workshop on Stress Management. It was amazing! It was exactly what I needed to understand how to manage my busy days. Cheryl taught us practical, easy to implement strategies that worked for me from day 1 and I haven't looked back since. I highly recommend Cheryl as a coach, and recommend her 2 hour workshops for anyone.


I have attended two LinkedIn workshops run by Be Ultimate and I have found them to be extremely informative, professional and succinct, whilst also being very personable and fun. I have already implemented new content and knowledge learned at the workshops ... starting at the actual workshops itself!

Thanks for your fun and informative workshop sessions.


Cheryl provides an incredible bouncing board to lead you through your journey of reinvention or simply to gain reinforcement that the path you’re on is the right one. Cheryl is an awesome person who truly cares for other people, wants to see them achieve their goals, isn’t backward in coming forwards when you need the prod in the right direction and will encourage you to see the great results you are accomplishing when they may not be as obvious to you.

I highly recommend Cheryl to anyone who is looking for business advice, a change in career or simply wants to gain some solutions to taking a positive approach to life.

A.Wilson, Business Owner, CATEGORACLE

Cheryl has facilitated a number of conferences for Liquid Learning in both Australia and New Zealand and has always been a pleasure to work with! Cheryl is helpful, punctual, reliable and always professional. She is very skilled in keeping the conference running to time and lifting the energy of the room as she facilitates Q&A sessions. Cheryl also frequently runs workshops with us and does regular speaking spots which she always receives great feedback for.

Jean Young, Project Executive, LIQUID LEARNING

With the majority of delegates rating Cheryl’s keynote presentation at the IOPO Conference 5 out of 5, she exceeded our expectations! Cheryl is truly passionate about helping businesses to succeed and thrive.

Linda, IOPO Advisory Board Member, IOPO

Cheryl has been a delight to work with over the past 7 years. She has assisted our business, Independent Garden Centres, with professional development workshops, she has been of great support to me as a coach. Cheryl has emceed the last two annual IGC Retail Conferences with an engaging and fun style, and she has been one of our conference keynote speakers who held the undivided attention of the delegates with ease. I thoroughly recommend Cheryl Alderman in any of these capacities.  Cheryl is a consummate professional who quickly builds rapport, she clearly enjoys sharing her knowledge with others, and there is always an element of fun which oft missing in many professionals.

Evan Mueller, CEO, IGC

In this workshop we were introduced to a range of simple strategies that the group could adopt to manage the inevitable stress and tension experienced in corporate and every life. The cynical group loved the practical and interactive approach of this workshop and were highly engaged throughout the 2 hours. The presenters brought in lots of great exercises. I am happy to recommend this Managing Stress workshop and both presenters to other corporate groups.

L Jones, People & Culture Business Partner, FOXTEL

Working with Cheryl has had benefits that have reached far beyond me as an individual. She has helped me to become a better leader and elevate the effectiveness and potential of my entire team. Cheryl's coaching has raised my self awareness, shifted my focus to control what I can control, and given me tools to realise opportunities that I wouldn't have thought possible before our first session.

Michael, Manager of Digital Marketing, DIMENSIONAL