Life has a habit of throwing tough times in our way.

It might be in the form of relationship difficulties, divorce, financial stress, work pressures, kids or just the strain of a busy lifestyle. Sometimes it all just gets too much, but we push it to the back of our minds and just get on with it.

But, do you ever find yourself wondering why that perky guy in marketing is so damn happy all the time when you are struggling just to get through the day? Why a workmate seems so calm when you feel like your head is exploding and the pressure is just too much? How people have time to go to the gym, or the movies, when you don’t seem to ever have a spare second for anything?

Is it that they have a healthy organic diet?

Are they are secretly billionaires in disguise?

What do they know that you don’t?

Have you also noticed how some people can experience terrible hardships, and yet they still seem to always have a smile on their face?

My 18 year old son has a close friend with Crohns Disease. This young man spends a great deal of his time bed bound in hospital, on restricted or liquid diets and suffering frequent pain. Yet if you met him, as I have, you would find him to be happy, gracious and fun loving, never complaining about any of these issues or how they impact on his quality of life. Instead he embraces every day with enthusiasm and cheerfulness which must be contagious, as he also has a large group of friends.

So what does he know that we don’t?

Recently I was discussing work overload with a client…and he expressed that he considered asking for help a weakness, so he felt that if he asked for assistance his workmates might think less of him. This is a belief I often hear from clients. After some discussion he agreed that delegation was not weak, in fact it was a managerial behaviour that would reflect on him as being in control and confident. Simply changing the name from help to delegation, changed his perception completely.

So is the secret that my son’s friend and the other “happy” people out there know, that it’s all about perception?

Partly. However, it may surprise you to find out that what they also know is that they have CHOICES.


Let me explain. The way you live your life is a choice. It may not seem that way, and you may tell yourself you don’t have a choice regarding your situation, but the reality is you do. Every task you undertake you have made a choice to do it. Every reaction and emotion you experience you have chosen to have. Everything you say, everything you do, the perception you have of a situation is the perception you have chosen to have at that time, either consciously or unconsciously.

Sometimes because we are IN the situation we can’t see those choices, even for looking. We are too close to the issue. Sometimes we do see the choices but pretend not to, because it is safer to be unhappy in the familiar, than to make a move into uncertainty. Sometimes we are so busy being logical and practical, or putting others first, that we don’t listen to our own feelings and lose ourselves along the way.

The good news is that you can make a CHOICE to make a CHANGE.

To take that first step, have a look from the outside and see what choices you are currently making to create the life you are in. Imagine you are looking in at your life through a window, how does it look from there? Next, allow yourself to realise that it is OK to ask for help. Sometimes you are so good at hiding your true feelings that no one actually knows you aren’t coping, because to the outside world you seem in control. It takes a strong person to reach out of their comfort zone towards something new. It takes courage and determination to change your perceptions and beliefs, to make the choice to make changes in your life.

You don’t need to take giant leaps. Allow yourself to take a good look at what’s really going on, if you need to, ask for help, and start making some small changes. It may not be easy, but you are strong and courageous, so you know you CAN. You may be surprised at how quickly each small change can have a large impact on your life.

Each new step you take will move you closer to a new you.

Who knows, maybe soon, you will BE that perky, happy person, the calm assured one, heading off to the movies or the gym, with a skip in your step and a smile on your face. You will know that YOU too have CHOICES!

If you would like to change the direction your life is heading, reduce the stress and pressure and live the life you REALLY want to live, we can help. Contact us at Be Ultimate to find out more about our Individual Coaching Programs. Phone/Skype Coaching available for areas outside of Sydney.

Be Ultimate because Ordinary is Over-rated

What Our Clients Say

I have been with the same company for nearly 10 years. Although in a leadership role and successful, I felt burned out, stressed and unhappy at work. This was impacting my work /life balance as well as my interaction with others. I needed to re-evaluate my career priorities and level up my communication skills. Cheryl took the time to listen and understand my situation. We worked together to better understand my strengths and values and how important it is for them to be congruent with my career development. With Cheryl’s guidance I focused on the steps I needed to make to remain myself, whilst becoming a better leader at work. Cheryl’s style, attitude and easy to follow steps are pragmatic and realistic. She provided me with tools I could use every day to remain focused on changes I needed to make to achieve what I wanted.This is an ongoing journey but I am now more confident, have a deeper understanding of both myself and others, have the tools to perform better at work and am maintaining a more fulfilling work-life balance.

Catherine.R – National Manager

I met Cheryl as I started a personal journey in seeking greater clarity for my career. It has turned into much more and I am most grateful to her for helping me understand myself much better as well as how to interact with those around me. Both professional and private. Cheryl has been a source of strength and insight. Her warm and friendly nature makes it easy to relate to her. She challenges the status quo and help me improve many aspects of my life. A number of my colleagues have spent time with Cheryl and all feedback has been positive. I would highly recommend her.

Ross Cartwright, Managing Director – Head of Retail Aus/NZ, MFS INVESTMENTS

We were lucky enough to have Cheryl come to our Annual Team Conference where she presented a Creative Thinking Workshop for our Team. I would high recommend Cheryl and the workshop for anyone who is looking to open their minds and expand the vision of the business. The workshop was highly interactive with the concepts and ideas being able to be implemented relatively quickly and simply into our business.

Harry, Director of Projects, PLAN ASSIST PTY LTD

I have seen and worked with Cheryl on a number of events and projects she is a part of. So when it came to organising an EA/PA Networking event, I knew she was the right person to be our guest speaker. Cheryl is an engaging, humorous and energetic presenter, who can relate easily to a room of 10 to 100+ people. She brings a world of knowledge and experience to her presentations and her real-life business examples reinforce the messages she presents. Cheryl is definitely someone I would recommend to present at any corporate workshop.

A Edmonds, Events Manager, LUNAR PARK SYDNEY

I attended Be Ultimate’s workshop on Stress Management. It was amazing! It was exactly what I needed to understand how to manage my busy days. Cheryl taught us practical, easy to implement strategies that worked for me from day 1 and I haven't looked back since. I highly recommend Cheryl as a coach, and recommend her 2 hour workshops for anyone.


I have attended two LinkedIn workshops run by Be Ultimate and I have found them to be extremely informative, professional and succinct, whilst also being very personable and fun. I have already implemented new content and knowledge learned at the workshops ... starting at the actual workshops itself!

Thanks for your fun and informative workshop sessions.


Cheryl provides an incredible bouncing board to lead you through your journey of reinvention or simply to gain reinforcement that the path you’re on is the right one. Cheryl is an awesome person who truly cares for other people, wants to see them achieve their goals, isn’t backward in coming forwards when you need the prod in the right direction and will encourage you to see the great results you are accomplishing when they may not be as obvious to you.

I highly recommend Cheryl to anyone who is looking for business advice, a change in career or simply wants to gain some solutions to taking a positive approach to life.

A.Wilson, Business Owner, CATEGORACLE

Cheryl has facilitated a number of conferences for Liquid Learning in both Australia and New Zealand and has always been a pleasure to work with! Cheryl is helpful, punctual, reliable and always professional. She is very skilled in keeping the conference running to time and lifting the energy of the room as she facilitates Q&A sessions. Cheryl also frequently runs workshops with us and does regular speaking spots which she always receives great feedback for.

Jean Young, Project Executive, LIQUID LEARNING

With the majority of delegates rating Cheryl’s keynote presentation at the IOPO Conference 5 out of 5, she exceeded our expectations! Cheryl is truly passionate about helping businesses to succeed and thrive.

Linda, IOPO Advisory Board Member, IOPO

Cheryl has been a delight to work with over the past 7 years. She has assisted our business, Independent Garden Centres, with professional development workshops, she has been of great support to me as a coach. Cheryl has emceed the last two annual IGC Retail Conferences with an engaging and fun style, and she has been one of our conference keynote speakers who held the undivided attention of the delegates with ease. I thoroughly recommend Cheryl Alderman in any of these capacities.  Cheryl is a consummate professional who quickly builds rapport, she clearly enjoys sharing her knowledge with others, and there is always an element of fun which oft missing in many professionals.

Evan Mueller, CEO, IGC

In this workshop we were introduced to a range of simple strategies that the group could adopt to manage the inevitable stress and tension experienced in corporate and every life. The cynical group loved the practical and interactive approach of this workshop and were highly engaged throughout the 2 hours. The presenters brought in lots of great exercises. I am happy to recommend this Managing Stress workshop and both presenters to other corporate groups.

L Jones, People & Culture Business Partner, FOXTEL

Working with Cheryl has had benefits that have reached far beyond me as an individual. She has helped me to become a better leader and elevate the effectiveness and potential of my entire team. Cheryl's coaching has raised my self awareness, shifted my focus to control what I can control, and given me tools to realise opportunities that I wouldn't have thought possible before our first session.

Michael, Manager of Digital Marketing, DIMENSIONAL